HOW TO COPE WITH INDIA’S ANTI-VIAGRA?


A few years back, an old couple was murdered in Saket area of New Delhi. There was a furore and the Governor and the Police Commissioner visited the area. Police patrolling started. A few days and a couple of murders later, the police said that they did not have enough men for the job. The private security guards ( who would not have been employed by the citizens if they had faith in the police ) were to blame. The public is also perhaps to blame. What business do they have to get murdered? Do the police not have enough on their hands to protect the VVIPs and the lesser VIPs?

Who is more important? The public or the public servants? The Masters or the Servants? Of course the servants! We are Indians. We deify even our servants! We build palaces or swanky furnished apartments for them and they can decide to raise their own monetary and other compensation three to four times whenever they wish. The state has no money or men left after protecting such worthies for doing the primary job viz. that of protecting the society that created a structure called the state for the purpose. A naughty question sometimes arises in my mind. How many of these worthies would actually get killed if their security were withdrawn? Would the loss be irreparable except, of course to the sycophants and the beneficiaries of the slain VIP / VVIP? In any case, security itself was the cause of the assassination of one Prime Minister and lack of adequate security was the cause of a former Prime Minister’s murder. Security or no security, VIPs or VVIPs get killed if they are fated or targeted to be killed. Then, why oh! Why, are we made to shell out so much money? Money perhaps would not matter much but what hurts is that it is at the cost of the security of the very people who foot the bill.

The security chaps are helpless. Impotent is a strong word, but to a limited extent, it is not very wrong either. The Chief Minister of Delhi is helpless since like her two predecessors of a different party, she has no control over the police. Inwardly perhaps all the three are happy that they do not have to find a more difficult excuse. All of them are helpless, impotent, if you please.

The population of India has grown. So have the number and severity of the Railway accidents. Railway ministers, irrespective of party labels, are helpless. Either there is not enough money or the staff is careless or there is a systemic failure or if nothing else, there is of course the sabotage by the political opponents. Neither the political classes nor the bureaucratic classes are to blame. The blame always lies elsewhere. Those supposedly responsible are invariably helpless or impotent.

The local police in the states, when free of the onerous duty of collecting their earnings, both due and undue and harassing the by and large law abiding public, are helpless. How to cope with AK 47 wielding smugglers, extortionists or terrorists? How could they cope with militants of various hues? Central forces or the army are required. Each organization pleads its helplessness in tackling law and order problems. Somebody else is to blame. Everybody sagely nods to this, so long as they are themselves not held up for blame. The media make noise, taking care not to hurt anyone in a permanent sort of way. Law and order is the primary duty of any government – a structure created by the society for the very purpose. But the state is helpless, impotent. Even the judges are helpless in the face of mounting pending cases. When there is too much noise about something, authorities use an earplug in the form of a committee or a commission. This august body functions in a laid back manner and gives its report after a few extensions, usually when the noise has died out on its own.

The economy goes into a recession or there is a runaway inflation. The Finance minister is helpless. Scams after scams take place. CBI is helpless. Those who interfere are to blame. A department of a state government overdraws money year after year. Everybody, the department head, the auditors, the Public Accounts Committee, the vigilance people, the courts, the media et al make suitable noises but they are helpless. All actions are taken except to recover the money. The whole state is “like that only”. What to do?

The onion prices go up. Those in authority are helpless. A severe drought happens one year. Inflation goes into double digits. The sensible step of importing the shortfall, is not taken despite a more than comfortable foreign exchange position. Gods – Rain Gods are to blame. What can mere mortals do in the face of the mighty Almighty? In case there is a good monsoon and food prices come down despite the best efforts of the authorities, promptly people in power can claim having mastered the devil of inflation.

The people are helpless. They change their rulers, giving a chance to everyone but the situation does not change. What is the cause of this helplessness – this impotence? The answer is very simple. Responsibility. Make an Indian responsible for any task and he promptly becomes helpless, impotent for the task on hand, whether he is a Babu or a Neta, a judge or a journalist. In case, if anyone succeeds, there is a question mark. Is he not an Indian as in the case of Vishwanathan Anand? Or has he flouted the elaborate structure created to make him fail? Modi whether of the Narendra or Lalit variety have commited the ultimate sin. They seem to have not only succeeded but done so somewhat spectacularly. That is intolerable. They are not the norm. The ilk of Kalmadis are. If any task is to be accomplished, it must be done after raising blood pressure. We must procrastinate when there is ample time and when everybody is scared, then to rush things at breakneck speed and at a huge cost that helps line up the pockets of those who matter.

The West prides itself for having discovered Viagra as a cure for impotence. Our ancient civilization and Bharatiya culture laughs at it. We did that long back. We have now found a cure for potency. Make a man responsible for any task and he promptly becomes impotent. That is our Anti – Viagra. Akin to the Anti-Missile Missile. Aren’t we more advanced?

Whether it is a Police sub-inspector or a Health inspector whose job is to prevent epidemics, a Railway permanent way inspector in charge of maintaining Railway tracks or an opposition politician, the moment they get power, they become impotent in respect of their duties. They are however only selectively impotent. They are quite potent when it comes to harassing the public for wanting to do things legally or out of the way. The impotent Biradari or brotherhood has excuses ready for trotting out to the lay public in case, an outcry on any scale. takes place.

This phenomenon gives us a unique place in the world. Elsewhere power is an aphrodiasic. In India it is our own Swadeshi pill for impotence. We can be as proud of it as we are of our Mahatma Gandhis or Amartya Sens. While we can leave our rulers to gloat over this unique phenomenon, we, the ordinary people, the hoi pollois, need to think of a way to cope with this Anti-Viagra. There does not seem to be much use trying to change persons or parties. Whether it is the “Garibi Hatao”wallas or the “Ram Rath “ wallas, the situation worsens instead of improving with every change. Even bigger problem is the bureaucracy. To the ordinary man or “Aam Admi” as he is referred to, government is encountered in the shape of a Thanedar, or a revenue clerk or a railway booking clerk. They do not change. Running after a Neta is like running after a mirage. Very few realize that a Babu can make or mar a Neta in actual practice.

We have , therefore to think of an innovative solution. Our neighbours have tried to get the Army to rule. They were not successful. Don’t their Army brass belong to the same stock of people? Therein lies a clue Sonia Gandhi does not belong to the Indian stock genetically. We can try her. There is one snag though. She has been the Bahu of the Nehru-Gandhi household for around forty years. Has she not been Indianised enough?

We ought to try the genuine imported stuff. Old timers say that the British ruled rather well. Of course they were costly, but aren’t our present ones as costly after the recent hike of our parliamentarians? Perhaps at 68 times the per capita income of an Indian according to one estimate, they are not as yet, as costly but we can depend on the likes of Lalus and Mulayams to make up the difference. Under the British, law and order was very well maintained. They built the original infrastructure in the country, whatever their motivations. They were the people to introduce modern education, sanitation, scientific temperament and democratic spirit as against the authoritarian and perpetually outdated regimes that proliferated before them. Thuggy and suttee were abolished. Thuggy, however seems to have been reborn in the form of extortionists of Mumbai or the kidnappers of the cowbelt.

I am not suggesting that we bring the British back. Perish the thought! But we can, may be, ask that nation of shopkeepers to take a contract for managing a district or a metropolis. It can be on a 5 year contract with built in stiff penalties for every crime that takes place. An unsolved crime would attract the stiffest penalty. For example, the moment a theft takes place, the total value of the theft would be deducted straightaway from the contractor’s safety deposit. When the thief is caught, 10% of the deducted amount would be refunded, when he is convicted in a court of law, a further 20% would be refunded, when the stolen property is recovered and restored to the owner, a further 60% would be refunded. However the balance 10% would remain deducted as the theft took place under their management.

Democracy is supposed to mean accountability. In practice, in India, the remedy for public sector ills has been given to be freedom from this accountability. The parliamentarians are themselves a law unto themselves. How can anybody be accountable to those who are themselves accountable to none? This gives an idea of how effective this accountability is. But if we have this type of carrot and stick approach in terms of contracts, payments and penalties, we might get a better accountability.

In any case our government thrives on contractors and suppliers, dalals and chamchas. A departmental construction on the lines of various housing boards fails to deliver the goods. A contractor, even if pricey, delivers the goods. We can therefore, float global tenders for various districts and municipal bodies. Good management may earn an extension of the contract. Even more districts could be awarded to them. We may then have a British managed district, a German managed municipality, a French managed department and so on.

The moment, you have global MNCs, our Swadeshi brigade would complain of a non-level playing field. They may be placated by inviting them to bid for the districts on the condition that they form joint ventures with approved foreign partners for the purpose. Unlike other projects, here we may stipulate a minimum rather than a maximum foreign component. Good management can earn them a lesser foreign component.

Our leftist friends are now likely to rise in consternation. What about the unemployment caused by this mindless privatization? I have an answer for this. We can grant the existing bureaucrats as well as the political class, a compensatory pension for life, to be reduced to half for the next generation, to one fourth for the third generation and then abolished altogether for the succeeding generations. The pension amount would be fixed depending on their present earnings. We have figures for their legitimate ( if I may be allowed to say so) earnings. We have, however no figures for their undue earnings. To obviate any difficulties in this regard, we may ask them to file a declaration under a Voluntary Disclosure of Income Scheme ( VDIS ). Their declared undue earnings have to be added to their legitimate earnings to arrive at the basis for fixing their pension.

Once we pension off these people, our leftist friends would be satisfied, at least partially. They are never going to be satisfied fully. After all, they have not as yet, been given an unfettered, extra-constitutional opportunity to misrule all of us! They have, however themselves given us this idea. A fertilizer factory in an eastern state governed by them has been paying wages to its employees for a number of years without producing any fertilizer. They should therefore agree to this idea. The granting of pensions is based on a precedent. In the government, precedents are very important. We had granted privy purses to the erstwhile rulers of princely states at the time of transfer of power. We are therefore not departing from our tradition of effecting a harmonious and peaceful transition from one type of rule to another. The Babus and the Netas should also be happy as they would no longer have to invent excuses for non-performance. They would, no longer be required to stay for a major portion of their tenure in their headquarters. A couple of our cabinet ministers have, with foresight, been already exercising this right. Another advantage to our political class would be that they will be perpetually in opposition – that hallowed condition of power without any responsibility!

The public may groan. They are doing this now also. There is however one qualitative difference. In future, they would groan only for the excessive price for the services. They would however be assured of getting service. Accountability would return in practice. Some question may be raised about double expenditure. But aren’t we already bearing it in the form of employing private security, paying bribes, extortionists, kidnappers, thieves and dacoits in addition to paying taxes?

Any takers for this idea? I mean for Surajya rather than Swaraj of the present variety.

STOP PRESS: I received my passport from Ahmedabad Regional passport office, sitting at my home in Vadodara on the 17th day of my applying for the same. Pray to God that the RPO, Ahmedabad is not punished for this unseemly haste and betraying the age old norms set by his predecessors or hounded by the CBI on one or the other charge.