DADDY GOES TO OFFICE

BEDROOM AND BEYOND





Time 7-00 A.M. Everybody in the house alert except for Daddy who is asleep. Daddy has to leave for office at 7-30 A.M.So everybody else has to be alert and ready to do the jobs allotted to each member of the family. Daddy, of course does not like to be awakened abruptly ( Says it is bad for his nerves ). Daddy is an Efficiency Engineer, having specialized in Time & Motion Study. Everything connected with him has therefore to be done in the shortest possible time and in the most efficient manner.


Guddi, our four year old, is stationed at the bedroom door by 6-55 A.M. to report on Daddy's movements or the lack thereof. I am, in the meanwhile, squeezing the toothpaste on Daddy's toothbrush, laying out his shaving kit, laying out the morning newspaper by the side of the commode, taking out water ( warm in winter ) for his bath, laying out his clothes ... etc. Our eight year old son is busy polishing Daddy's shoes. Our twelve year old daughter stars making breakfast and our fourteen year old Prince Of Wales gets busy preparing Daddy's briefcase, changing the refill of his dotpen ( if needed )...etc. There is no servant, of course not because Daddy is a socialist but because no servants are needed in a well-ordered household of Daddy's conception.


INTHE BATHROOM


By about 7- 10 A.M. Daddy wakes up as is evident by the intelligence report conveyed by Guddi. Daddy rushes to the bathroom and gets busy with his morning duties. I station myself at the bathroom door. Daddy shouts across the bathroom door instructions about the letters he wants me to write to relatives, friends, the bank, the insurance company and so on. I shout back to him my instructions to him regarding the things i would like him to buy on his way back from the city. Daddy has perfected a technique for shaving with one hand while the other hand is brushing his teeth. He says his prayers while bathing and reads the newspaper while ........... . By about 7-22 A.M. he is out of the bathroom and into the dressing room; while I go into the bathroom to pick up the newspaper, fold it and shove it into his briefcase for him to finish reading it on his way to the office.


THE KISS IS IMPORTANT


The twelve year old is in the meantime bringing breakfast things on to the table. Daddy dressed, rushes to the dining table by which time, I am supposed to join him ( " BHOJYESHU MATA " ! ) While eating, he keeps a steady commentary on the day's news and current topics. I am, by then, far too weary to respond to his comments and merely nod to his views on the latest scam, the latest anti-productivity steps taken by the government, the inflation, the movements of the crony parasitic NGOs, licences secured by the crony capitalists, the latest anti-education agitation by student leaders and so on...... . Breakfast over, I pick up the briefcase to hand it to him while he sweeps me into his arms, briefcase and all, for a good bye kiss. Since the last morsel is still in the process of being chewed, the kiss tastes Omletty, Cheesy or Dosai or DESAI depending on the menu of the breakfast or whether the process of chewing has been completed by then. I expect the kiss to mean something else but being a traditional Hindu wife, I take the kiss philosophically. I even rationalize that a Hindu wife is supposed to feed herself on the leftovers of her husband's meals. Many a time have I pleaded with him to save a few seconds by omitting the kiss but then he would grow sentimental and lament at length on the lack of romance in our day-to-day life. " What use is all this hustle - bustle of a chap's life, if he can't even kiss his wife while parting for the day's work ? ", he would exclaim. After his missing the bus on such occasions and the consequent berating till a taxi was brought to our door, I now accept the kiss and the accompanying crumbs without any dissent.

Having turned himself in the direction of the door during the kiss, he deftly takes over the briefcase, depositing me on the floor at the same time. Now starts the dash to the bus terminus which is just across the park. It is a false start however. Little Guddi with clenched fists and dogged determination, pursues his steps, muttering threats to the ungrateful Daddy who always kisses mummy but never remembers Guddy. Daddy runs back, picks up Guddy in a sweeping turn, kisses her twice to make up for the lapse all the while running and depositing Guddy on the way.


C I D REPORTS


Our eight year old, stationed at the centre of the park, has all this time been passing the intelligence reports about the bus's arrival, the driver's getting back into his seat, the starting of the engine.....etc. through Guddi who, till she started pursuing Daddy was stationed at our gate. Our fourteen year old has been at the bus stand, pleading with the driver to delay the starting by a minute more. Time 7-30 A.M..... The driver, used to this daily drama, runs the bus a few feet to make Daddy run still faster. With the children urging him on, Daddy catches the doorpost of the running bus with one hand while waving triumphantly to anxious me with the briefcase brandishing other hand.


BUCK UP DADDY


The other regular passengers of the bus are also participants in the drama, being divided into "Encouragers " and " Discouragers ". Ever since his Daddy took our fourteen year old to the races ( to improve the latter's mind ), he has been accepting bets from Daddy's co-passengers on whether Daddy would make it. Earlier I was vehemently opposing this gambling bit but now I have learnt to accept it. It compensates for the occasional taxi fare when Daddy misses the bus !

THE AFTERMATH .................................


The bus out of sight, I struggle with myself for the last few steps to my bed and collapse. My last thought before falling into exhausted sleep is " Why in goodness can't Daddy wake up earlier. Eet eese baad for his nerves. His, of course. As for me, i am already a n..e..r..v..o..u..s w..r..e..c..k...........Grrr.........Grrrr.............