Four year old Preety is a delectable dumpling sweet enough to eat. She laughs a lot. She has also a lot of variety in her laughters. Only the discerning can understand what she means by each kind of laughter. She walked into my life one day last year, accompanied by her parents and a baby brother. Since then, she has been enchanting me with her laughters.
On that first meeting, I asked her, her name. " Preety " she said and laughed. This laugh meant, " Look at this silly uncle ! He does not even know that I am Preety. The next day, as I was about to leave for the office, there was a knock on the door. I opened the door and found Preety at the threshold. She looked at me and feeling that I had not paid sufficient attention to her, laughed. Now this laugh could only mean, " Wow ! Aren't you glad that I have come ? " naturally, i had to make amends for my behaviour. I picked her up and announced her arrival to my wife.
Another day, I started telling her that I too had a daughter also called Preety and that she was in Delhi. " Then whose am I ? " she asked bluntly. I had to reply that she too was mine. To this, she laughed meaning " So now you have come round, eh ? "
Once she came in when we were having snacks. I asked her if she would like to join us. She gave no reply but walked upto the dining table, picked up a banana, peeled it, took one bite and laughed. This time it meant, " How amusing ! Soes one behave so formally with one's own ? " And with that laughter, she adopted my wife and myself as her own.
I have yet to see a person with such an expressive laughter. Each and every laughter of hers has a different ring, different meaning to it. Once she returned from a longish vacation. We came across each other in a public gathering. On seeing me, she gave me a " So glad to see you after such a long time " titter. Partly because she had changed somewhat but majorly because I was lost in a reverie, I responded with an automatic smile that was a bit synthetic. She seemed to sense this and laughed again. This laughter sounded different and my reverie was broken. Previously I had only looked at her but now I noticed her. it was then that her second laughter registered on my mind as " Is it so long that you do not even recognize me ? "
Her most memorable laugh was given when we all were going to a party together. She came in, dressed in pants and a bush shirt. " So, you have become a boy ! " I exclaimed. She smugly said " Pants don't make a boy " and laughed.
Monday, August 15, 2011
THE UNSUNG BREADMAN
I call him Breadman because he gave people their daily bread. he was a cook employed by the son-in-law of our neighbour. Whenever the daughter and son-in-law of our neighbour paid a visit, they brought him along. He was a deaf-mute and hence could not be left alone. He could not hear even a temple bell rung next to his ear and could only make incoherent sounds.
Barring this handicap, he was in excellent health. He was a good cook with a strong sense of smell. He got a lot of pleasure when the food cooked by him was appreciated. His eyes would light up like a pair of diamonds and he would make guttural sounds. He was great fun to us children.
If he was annoyed, he would drop metallic utensils on the floor or start playing music with a roller pin on metal containers. We would rush to the kitchen and ask him to stop the noise. " What noise ? " he would gesture, thereby indicating that what disturbed us had no effect whatsoever on him. Very often, he would go on doing the work in hand without the slightest sign of disturbance.
Once, we were playing cricket in the compound. He came and watched us for a while. Then he asked us what we were doing. I wrote in the dust with the help of my finger that it was a game called cricket. " Can I play ? " he gestured. We were too happy to get a good fielder whom as a batsman, we could easily dismiss, being a novice.
Most of us thereafter, malingered in the fielding. The cook would gleefully hop in long strides to the ball anywhere in the field. he took a special pleasure in catching the ball in the air. he was at first perplexed as to why the batsman was not given out everytime he caught the ball in the air. It took us some effort to explain to him the rule that the ball had to be caught in the air before it touched the ground after leaving the bat. he violently disagreed with the LBW rule on the ground that being hit in the legs was sufficient punishment to the batsman. By the time his turn came for batting, he had learnt all the rules of the game even if he disagreed with some of them. He was the last to bat and we vied with each other to bowl to him in the hope of earning a cheap wicket.
One after another, we bowled. Leg spin, off spin, googly, pace and so on. He held the bat like a club raised above his shoulders. Unerringly, he would smack the ball whether it was short pitched, good length, over pitched or full toss. As we grew tired, we started bending the rules, then making new rules such as the batsman having to field the ball, if it crossed the boundary line and finally outright cheating. nothing worked. By this time, the news had spread and some college going boys joined in. The distance between the stumps was surreptitiously reduced. The older boys had even lesser compunction than us in regard to the rules. They threw the ball at him instead of bowling. The deaf-mute batted on.. It was getting dark and we appealed for bad light. He rejected our appeal on the ground that he could still sight the ball. Finally some bright chap suggested to him that it would be a great honour if he retired. he did so with a K-R-E-E G-A-H kind of sound.
Instead of us chairing him, he chaired us, two on his shoulders, one on his back and two in his arms. He romped his way to the kitchen and deposited us on the floor simply by shaking himself.
There and then we resolved that we might hazard being on the wrong side of Sir Donald's bat but never again, would we ask this breadman to play with us. How about sending such a one to rescue our tiring, tiring, tired players on their losing forays abroad ?_
Barring this handicap, he was in excellent health. He was a good cook with a strong sense of smell. He got a lot of pleasure when the food cooked by him was appreciated. His eyes would light up like a pair of diamonds and he would make guttural sounds. He was great fun to us children.
If he was annoyed, he would drop metallic utensils on the floor or start playing music with a roller pin on metal containers. We would rush to the kitchen and ask him to stop the noise. " What noise ? " he would gesture, thereby indicating that what disturbed us had no effect whatsoever on him. Very often, he would go on doing the work in hand without the slightest sign of disturbance.
Once, we were playing cricket in the compound. He came and watched us for a while. Then he asked us what we were doing. I wrote in the dust with the help of my finger that it was a game called cricket. " Can I play ? " he gestured. We were too happy to get a good fielder whom as a batsman, we could easily dismiss, being a novice.
Most of us thereafter, malingered in the fielding. The cook would gleefully hop in long strides to the ball anywhere in the field. he took a special pleasure in catching the ball in the air. he was at first perplexed as to why the batsman was not given out everytime he caught the ball in the air. It took us some effort to explain to him the rule that the ball had to be caught in the air before it touched the ground after leaving the bat. he violently disagreed with the LBW rule on the ground that being hit in the legs was sufficient punishment to the batsman. By the time his turn came for batting, he had learnt all the rules of the game even if he disagreed with some of them. He was the last to bat and we vied with each other to bowl to him in the hope of earning a cheap wicket.
One after another, we bowled. Leg spin, off spin, googly, pace and so on. He held the bat like a club raised above his shoulders. Unerringly, he would smack the ball whether it was short pitched, good length, over pitched or full toss. As we grew tired, we started bending the rules, then making new rules such as the batsman having to field the ball, if it crossed the boundary line and finally outright cheating. nothing worked. By this time, the news had spread and some college going boys joined in. The distance between the stumps was surreptitiously reduced. The older boys had even lesser compunction than us in regard to the rules. They threw the ball at him instead of bowling. The deaf-mute batted on.. It was getting dark and we appealed for bad light. He rejected our appeal on the ground that he could still sight the ball. Finally some bright chap suggested to him that it would be a great honour if he retired. he did so with a K-R-E-E G-A-H kind of sound.
Instead of us chairing him, he chaired us, two on his shoulders, one on his back and two in his arms. He romped his way to the kitchen and deposited us on the floor simply by shaking himself.
There and then we resolved that we might hazard being on the wrong side of Sir Donald's bat but never again, would we ask this breadman to play with us. How about sending such a one to rescue our tiring, tiring, tired players on their losing forays abroad ?_
THE MUSIC OF AURANGZEB ALAMGIR - as conveyed to Ramesh N Desai
It appears that our hatred of music was not properly understood by the lesser folk. We decided therefore to take another form or PUNARJANMA as the kafirs call it. During our sojourn in this form, we studied the earthly music and all its aspects. For this purpose, we had to come down from our lofty position. Inspite of all the trials and tribulations that it involved, we went through this process. You see, as the Emperor, we felt it to be our duty to understand in entirety, all the lesser folk ruled by us.
It appears that the music lovers owe their origin to snakes who are charmed by earthly music i.e. the vibrations of the earth's atmospheric air. this is a very primary stage in the development of a human being such as ourselves. we remember now that in our childish stage, we too did once upon a time appreciate music.
In our subsequent forms, we were transformed into various inanimate objects. You kafirs neither live fully nor die fully. a stage came when all the moving creatures on this planet died. As the most dead of all the moving creatures who had also lived the most, we then heard celestial music created by the movement of meteors, quasars, planets and the dance of their satellites. The various rays emitted by the planets and other universal objects which are now identified as cosmic rays, X-Rays, lasers, masers,radio and television waves also had their own music which was however inferior to the celestial music that we described earlier. It was, however infinitely superior to that cacophony that you kafirs call " Bhairavi ". " Bhairav of the kafirs' conception is a creature connected with the cremation ground. Do you see my point ?
When we asked you to bury music in that historic anecdote, we had only taken the first step towards introducing you to some higher things. Since then, we have introduced some of our subjects like Yuri Gagarin, Neil Armstrong and others to some of the visual aspects of heaven by the primitive device of a spaceship. Slowly, as more and more people qualify, we shall teach them to fly out by themselves to other planets in the form of meteors. They would then come in contact with other beings much more intelligent and capable than themselves. We shall also introduce them to celestial music, dance and other cultural forms. we would however appreciate that some of the backward people amongst you would continue to listen to your earthly music. We would not mind it anymore since we have ourselves now acquired the ability to switch off our senses including that of hearing to what we do not like.
I wish you well on the occasion of your independence day. Remember, my dear people, that the real independence is one of the mind. try and acheve it. May Allah, the merciful grant you that !
It appears that the music lovers owe their origin to snakes who are charmed by earthly music i.e. the vibrations of the earth's atmospheric air. this is a very primary stage in the development of a human being such as ourselves. we remember now that in our childish stage, we too did once upon a time appreciate music.
In our subsequent forms, we were transformed into various inanimate objects. You kafirs neither live fully nor die fully. a stage came when all the moving creatures on this planet died. As the most dead of all the moving creatures who had also lived the most, we then heard celestial music created by the movement of meteors, quasars, planets and the dance of their satellites. The various rays emitted by the planets and other universal objects which are now identified as cosmic rays, X-Rays, lasers, masers,radio and television waves also had their own music which was however inferior to the celestial music that we described earlier. It was, however infinitely superior to that cacophony that you kafirs call " Bhairavi ". " Bhairav of the kafirs' conception is a creature connected with the cremation ground. Do you see my point ?
When we asked you to bury music in that historic anecdote, we had only taken the first step towards introducing you to some higher things. Since then, we have introduced some of our subjects like Yuri Gagarin, Neil Armstrong and others to some of the visual aspects of heaven by the primitive device of a spaceship. Slowly, as more and more people qualify, we shall teach them to fly out by themselves to other planets in the form of meteors. They would then come in contact with other beings much more intelligent and capable than themselves. We shall also introduce them to celestial music, dance and other cultural forms. we would however appreciate that some of the backward people amongst you would continue to listen to your earthly music. We would not mind it anymore since we have ourselves now acquired the ability to switch off our senses including that of hearing to what we do not like.
I wish you well on the occasion of your independence day. Remember, my dear people, that the real independence is one of the mind. try and acheve it. May Allah, the merciful grant you that !
Sunday, August 14, 2011
THE TAJ MAHAL SPEAKS OUT
It was a hot summer night, moonless and dark. No breeze, no sounds except those of people squirming in bed like me.Just when it seemed that sleep had overtaken me, I awoke and envisioned a white spectre. An amoeba like thing, changing shapes. it made many frightening shapes at first, then took to dancing about, sometimes on the ground, sometimes in the air. it would come very near me and then dash off. as if sort of challenging me to catch it. i remained unmoved, watching fascinated though.
Soon it changed itself into a woman, white, curves all over,shining with jewels and she spoke.
" Spook ", I said, staring at it squarely in the face.
" I am no spook ", she said.
" Spook or not, you are not human "
" You are right there, I am not a human ", she agreed.
" Who or rather what are you ! then ?"
" I am what you know as the TAJ MAHAL ".
" You mean Mumtajmahal, emperor Shahjehan's royal consort ?"
" No 1 No ! she is my daughter".
" Then, you are an Iranian "
" No. I am a Rajasthani. it appears, young man, you have not understood me. Look at the name of Mumtajmahal. She is the one whose Mum is Tajmahal. The child is back in my womb".
" Oh ! You mean, you are Tajmahal, the monument ! But then you are in Agra. How did you come here ? "
" I have not come here. I am still in Agra. All I have done is to emit some rays to touch your optical and auditory nerves. you are therefore able to see me in a form that is easily intelligible to you ".
" All right. You may be Taj Mahal or God almighty for all I care. Come to the point. What do you want from me ? "
" I understand that you work for a company that is building an oil refinery at Mathura "
I pleaded guilty. I knew what to expect. Pollution. Damage to the Taj. Stopping the refinery construction and eventual sacking me from my job. I steeled myself in anticipatory defence. No blows came, however.
' Relax, young man! I have read your mind. Your job is safe. You go ahead with your refinery ".
" Thank you, dear lady. but how are we to convince these pollution control people ? They are making such a big hue and cry '.
" Ignore them ".
It's all very well for you to say so. but this is a democracy. We can't very well ignore them. We have to convince them and the public. we have to take everyone along".
" That is precisely why I have come to you. You tell them on my behalf that i want this refinery thing to come up. Now let us begin at the beginning. Tell me, who built me ? "
" Shah Jehan, the Mogul Emperor ".
" How ignorant you are ! Shah Jehan was merely a tool. He was motivated to build me. It was I who built myself. I have the power to destroy myself and re-create myself in another form. I do it by motivating lesser folks like kings, emperors, corporates, architects, engineers and so on. Now I have started ageing and I need some - what you call them - vitamin shots. My origins are from this area which was once upon a time an ocean. As some of my body elements get worn off, I need their replacements. And they have to come from Rajasthan - as it was then or from areas now similar to Rajasthan as it was then. Your refinery will do just that. If you chaps think that you are building the refinery, you are mistaken. Like Shah Jehan, you too are merely my tools. What does that fellow Krishna say in the Gita - Nimitta. Yes, you are only a Nimitta, the destined one ".
" I can very readily and somewhat eagerly understand your message since it could save me my job but what about the critics, the public ? After all, the refinery effluent might affect river life and the bird sanctuary".
' Now, who are these critics ? One is a fish-man, the other is a bird-man and the third is my make-up man, the one you know as the Archeological Survey chap. They owe their origin to fish, bird etc. By protesting against the refinery construction, they are merely being loyal to their species of origin as they existed when they became humans. They are not aware that the fish and the birds of today are a lot tougher than hitherto. They can take the refinery effluent in their stride of course after an initial period of some unsettled conditions. In any case, you are planning to treat the effluent so as to make it almost equal to normal water ".
" But what about this initial period ? Wouldn't the fish and the bird die during this time ? What about the bird sanctuary ? Would it not have to be shifted ? "
" well, they can migrate. Nature has therefore given them mobility. I, on the other hand, can not migrate. The birds, in any case, have any right to protest, considering that they have been defecating all over me for the last 300 years ! Would you not try to get a public convenience situated right next door to your home shifted away ? "
" Well, from what you tell me, the refinery effluent is some kind of a medicine for you even if it be poison for some other beings".
' That's right ! Don't you have a saying about one man's food being another man's poison ? "
" But what about these cancerous signs on your body ? There are reports about similar signs on European monuments too ! "
" My dear fellow ! These are mere side effects consequent to taking a rather strong medicine ".
" Then, you are quite sure that this refinery poses no threat to you and that in reality it is a boon ? "
" Of course, you talk of democracy and yet you seem to be ignorant of nature's democratic ways. If a thing happens, be sure that nature, with all its diversities, confusion, chaos and contradictions, willed it. The refinery is happening. Therefore it is right. Now, you had better straightaway convey my message to all concerned, or else, I shall take you apart limb by limb and re-create you ' she said menacingly before disappearing.
Not being in a particular hurry to be re-created, I am complying with Madame Taj Mahal's desire.
Soon it changed itself into a woman, white, curves all over,shining with jewels and she spoke.
" Spook ", I said, staring at it squarely in the face.
" I am no spook ", she said.
" Spook or not, you are not human "
" You are right there, I am not a human ", she agreed.
" Who or rather what are you ! then ?"
" I am what you know as the TAJ MAHAL ".
" You mean Mumtajmahal, emperor Shahjehan's royal consort ?"
" No 1 No ! she is my daughter".
" Then, you are an Iranian "
" No. I am a Rajasthani. it appears, young man, you have not understood me. Look at the name of Mumtajmahal. She is the one whose Mum is Tajmahal. The child is back in my womb".
" Oh ! You mean, you are Tajmahal, the monument ! But then you are in Agra. How did you come here ? "
" I have not come here. I am still in Agra. All I have done is to emit some rays to touch your optical and auditory nerves. you are therefore able to see me in a form that is easily intelligible to you ".
" All right. You may be Taj Mahal or God almighty for all I care. Come to the point. What do you want from me ? "
" I understand that you work for a company that is building an oil refinery at Mathura "
I pleaded guilty. I knew what to expect. Pollution. Damage to the Taj. Stopping the refinery construction and eventual sacking me from my job. I steeled myself in anticipatory defence. No blows came, however.
' Relax, young man! I have read your mind. Your job is safe. You go ahead with your refinery ".
" Thank you, dear lady. but how are we to convince these pollution control people ? They are making such a big hue and cry '.
" Ignore them ".
It's all very well for you to say so. but this is a democracy. We can't very well ignore them. We have to convince them and the public. we have to take everyone along".
" That is precisely why I have come to you. You tell them on my behalf that i want this refinery thing to come up. Now let us begin at the beginning. Tell me, who built me ? "
" Shah Jehan, the Mogul Emperor ".
" How ignorant you are ! Shah Jehan was merely a tool. He was motivated to build me. It was I who built myself. I have the power to destroy myself and re-create myself in another form. I do it by motivating lesser folks like kings, emperors, corporates, architects, engineers and so on. Now I have started ageing and I need some - what you call them - vitamin shots. My origins are from this area which was once upon a time an ocean. As some of my body elements get worn off, I need their replacements. And they have to come from Rajasthan - as it was then or from areas now similar to Rajasthan as it was then. Your refinery will do just that. If you chaps think that you are building the refinery, you are mistaken. Like Shah Jehan, you too are merely my tools. What does that fellow Krishna say in the Gita - Nimitta. Yes, you are only a Nimitta, the destined one ".
" I can very readily and somewhat eagerly understand your message since it could save me my job but what about the critics, the public ? After all, the refinery effluent might affect river life and the bird sanctuary".
' Now, who are these critics ? One is a fish-man, the other is a bird-man and the third is my make-up man, the one you know as the Archeological Survey chap. They owe their origin to fish, bird etc. By protesting against the refinery construction, they are merely being loyal to their species of origin as they existed when they became humans. They are not aware that the fish and the birds of today are a lot tougher than hitherto. They can take the refinery effluent in their stride of course after an initial period of some unsettled conditions. In any case, you are planning to treat the effluent so as to make it almost equal to normal water ".
" But what about this initial period ? Wouldn't the fish and the bird die during this time ? What about the bird sanctuary ? Would it not have to be shifted ? "
" well, they can migrate. Nature has therefore given them mobility. I, on the other hand, can not migrate. The birds, in any case, have any right to protest, considering that they have been defecating all over me for the last 300 years ! Would you not try to get a public convenience situated right next door to your home shifted away ? "
" Well, from what you tell me, the refinery effluent is some kind of a medicine for you even if it be poison for some other beings".
' That's right ! Don't you have a saying about one man's food being another man's poison ? "
" But what about these cancerous signs on your body ? There are reports about similar signs on European monuments too ! "
" My dear fellow ! These are mere side effects consequent to taking a rather strong medicine ".
" Then, you are quite sure that this refinery poses no threat to you and that in reality it is a boon ? "
" Of course, you talk of democracy and yet you seem to be ignorant of nature's democratic ways. If a thing happens, be sure that nature, with all its diversities, confusion, chaos and contradictions, willed it. The refinery is happening. Therefore it is right. Now, you had better straightaway convey my message to all concerned, or else, I shall take you apart limb by limb and re-create you ' she said menacingly before disappearing.
Not being in a particular hurry to be re-created, I am complying with Madame Taj Mahal's desire.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
WHEN TO DIE ?
NOTE:-
This was written 40 years back. It shows how the bureaucracy can make a show of favouring you while doing the reverse. Making a show of welfare while giving a farewell to your hard earned money.
TO BE OR NOT TO BE was a dilemma faced by Hamlet. We non-heroes do not come across such situations in our humdrum existence. we all have to die sooner or later. Which is better ? Sooner ? Or Later?
The other day, this question arose. I was going through the Family Pension Scheme, 1971. It seems, a lot of effort has been put into this document by a lot of intelligent people. It is therefore but natural that a dim-witted individual like me would have to put in a still greater effort in understanding the various "whereas-es " and " subject to-s " of this stout document. I have put in this effort now.
The idea seems to be to provide for your family in case you die before you retire. You get various benefits from this scheme depending on when you die. In my case, if I die after 7 years after having irrevocably and finally committed myself to this scheme, my wife would get a sum of Rs. 300 per month for a period of 7 years and Rs. 150 per month thereafter upto the time I would have reached my age of retirement of 58 years, if I had lived. In addition to this, she would get a lump sum of Rs. 1000 on account of the authorities failing in their assurance to her that I would live upto my age of 60 years. ( It appears that the authorities do not expect me to live more than 2 years after my retirement )
The above benefits are to be multiplied by a factor depending on my age at entry to this " Welfare " scheme. Those of you who avoided Mathematics in your school may be happy by the mention of this multiplying factor. You are having visions of huge sums of money coming into your wife's hands every month. Let me deflate you therefore. When the multiplying factor is less than 1, the amount gets reduced. And if you are older than 25 years, the factor is invariably less than 1. In my case, for my age of 35 years, it is 0.67 only.
So, in short, here is what my wife would get if I die after 7years, 15years, 20 years, 23 years and so on. I forgot to mention earlier that there is a quid pro quo to be given by the employee in return for this largesse from the government. The government's contribution to my Provident Fund woiuld be reduced by Rs. 25 per month. This means that I am partly or perhaps fully or God forbid more than fully contributing to this supposedly benevolent measure of the Sarkar Mai - Baap.
If I die after 7 years :-
For the following 7 years, my wife would get @ Rs. 300x0.67 per month. The total amount to be received by her during this 7 years would amount to 7 x 12 x 300 x 0.67 = Rs. 168000.
FOR 11 Years thereafter, assuming that my wife would survive that long, the total amount to be received by her @ Rs. 150 x 0.67 per month would amount to
11 x 12 x 150 x 0.67 = Rs. 13200.
Life assurance benefit would amount to 0.67 x 1000 = Rs. 670.
The total benefit thus would be Rs. 16800 + 13200 + 670 = Rs. 30670. as against this, my Provident Fund would be reduced by an amount of rs.25 per month, assumung that there is no increase in my pay. During the 7 years that I would have lived, the amount reduced would be Rs. 25 x 7 x 12 = Rs. 2100. Adding to this the compound interest @ 6 % p.a., the cumulative amount to be reduced would be Rs. 2520.
So, a benefit of Rs. 30670 as against a loss of Rs. 2520 ! Good !
Now, if I die after 15 years, what do I get ?
I, of course, get either Heaven or Hell. i.e. before getting a rebirth to atone for my sins of this birth or reap the fruits of the good deeds done by me in this birth. But my wife would get,
For 7 years, 300 x 0.67 x 7 x 12 = Rs. 16800 plus
For 3 years, 150 x 0.67 x 3 x 12 = Rs. 3600 plus
Life Insurance benefit of a sum of Rs. 670, totalling Rs. 21070 in all as benefits.
As against this, the amount that would be reduced from my Provident Fund would be,
Rs. 25 x 15 x 12 = Rs. 4500. Including interest, this amount would be Rs. 6975 approximately. So, Rs. 21070 benefit against a loss of Rs. 6975. Not bad !
Now, if I die after 20 years, these amounts are Rs. 12670 benefit and Rs. 11160 loss.
In case of my death just before 23 years, they are Rs. 5470 benefit against a loss of Rs. 14400.
And if I die only after my retirement, the benefit is a grand sum of Rs. 2690 as against a loss of a mere Rs. 14400 !
I have thus found an answer to the question that I had posed at the outset and I am drafting an application as under :-
To,
HIS SUPREME SELF, The GOD
Address :- HEAVEN
Dear God,
Having come to know through reliable sources that you decide as to when a person should die, this is to request you to take me off before the expiry of 20 years from now. Otherwise, you see, my poor wife would get less money from the Family Pension Scheme 1971, than what she would have got from my Provident Fund. Of course if you can make it earlier, it would be better. But not earlier than 7 years from now, please. Because than she gets nothing.
You may be receiving applications and even recommendations for a longer life. You may even be receiving lesser but full of entreaty from terminally sick people. However an application for ensuring life upto 7 years from now and thereafter terminating it between 7 and 20 years might be a rarity. The bureaucrats under you might not have drafted rules for such an eventuality and your hands may be tied.
In that case, please dear God, kindly consult your book keeper Shri Chitragupta ( to whom a copy of this application is being endorsed ) and let me know the date when I am scheduled to come to your lotus feet. Please do not, I repeat, do not ask me to consult astrologers. They are not reliable in this matter, at least. They, had, you see, consistently failed in their predictions about my date of promotion.
O ! Divine ! I know that you are very busy these days with the large number of people that our neighbours across the borders have kindly despatched for the salvation of their souls to you recently. But I have to say YES or NO to the Family Pension Scheme within the next 15 days. So kindly treat this as urgent.
Yours Faithfully,
Ramesh Narendrarai Desai
P.S. :- And please dear God, see that my wife lives for another 25 years. Otherwise, you see, the whole exercise would be a wate.
P. P. S. :- I know that people of India have to pay Chai-Pani or Dasturi or Speed Money to you for any favours sought from you. I shall deposit that at any of your branches located in the nearest Temple / Mosque / Church / Gurudwara / Jinalaya /Agiary in the hands of your priestly agent.
FOOTNOTE :-
I do not know who is better at leading you on a garden path ? The Bureaucrat or the Politician ? Both talk of welfare but appear to make you give a farewell to your hard earned money. These so called public servants seem to be under the impression that all the money that the public earns actually belongs to them. It is their goodness that they allow the public to spend some of it.
This was written 40 years back. It shows how the bureaucracy can make a show of favouring you while doing the reverse. Making a show of welfare while giving a farewell to your hard earned money.
TO BE OR NOT TO BE was a dilemma faced by Hamlet. We non-heroes do not come across such situations in our humdrum existence. we all have to die sooner or later. Which is better ? Sooner ? Or Later?
The other day, this question arose. I was going through the Family Pension Scheme, 1971. It seems, a lot of effort has been put into this document by a lot of intelligent people. It is therefore but natural that a dim-witted individual like me would have to put in a still greater effort in understanding the various "whereas-es " and " subject to-s " of this stout document. I have put in this effort now.
The idea seems to be to provide for your family in case you die before you retire. You get various benefits from this scheme depending on when you die. In my case, if I die after 7 years after having irrevocably and finally committed myself to this scheme, my wife would get a sum of Rs. 300 per month for a period of 7 years and Rs. 150 per month thereafter upto the time I would have reached my age of retirement of 58 years, if I had lived. In addition to this, she would get a lump sum of Rs. 1000 on account of the authorities failing in their assurance to her that I would live upto my age of 60 years. ( It appears that the authorities do not expect me to live more than 2 years after my retirement )
The above benefits are to be multiplied by a factor depending on my age at entry to this " Welfare " scheme. Those of you who avoided Mathematics in your school may be happy by the mention of this multiplying factor. You are having visions of huge sums of money coming into your wife's hands every month. Let me deflate you therefore. When the multiplying factor is less than 1, the amount gets reduced. And if you are older than 25 years, the factor is invariably less than 1. In my case, for my age of 35 years, it is 0.67 only.
So, in short, here is what my wife would get if I die after 7years, 15years, 20 years, 23 years and so on. I forgot to mention earlier that there is a quid pro quo to be given by the employee in return for this largesse from the government. The government's contribution to my Provident Fund woiuld be reduced by Rs. 25 per month. This means that I am partly or perhaps fully or God forbid more than fully contributing to this supposedly benevolent measure of the Sarkar Mai - Baap.
If I die after 7 years :-
For the following 7 years, my wife would get @ Rs. 300x0.67 per month. The total amount to be received by her during this 7 years would amount to 7 x 12 x 300 x 0.67 = Rs. 168000.
FOR 11 Years thereafter, assuming that my wife would survive that long, the total amount to be received by her @ Rs. 150 x 0.67 per month would amount to
11 x 12 x 150 x 0.67 = Rs. 13200.
Life assurance benefit would amount to 0.67 x 1000 = Rs. 670.
The total benefit thus would be Rs. 16800 + 13200 + 670 = Rs. 30670. as against this, my Provident Fund would be reduced by an amount of rs.25 per month, assumung that there is no increase in my pay. During the 7 years that I would have lived, the amount reduced would be Rs. 25 x 7 x 12 = Rs. 2100. Adding to this the compound interest @ 6 % p.a., the cumulative amount to be reduced would be Rs. 2520.
So, a benefit of Rs. 30670 as against a loss of Rs. 2520 ! Good !
Now, if I die after 15 years, what do I get ?
I, of course, get either Heaven or Hell. i.e. before getting a rebirth to atone for my sins of this birth or reap the fruits of the good deeds done by me in this birth. But my wife would get,
For 7 years, 300 x 0.67 x 7 x 12 = Rs. 16800 plus
For 3 years, 150 x 0.67 x 3 x 12 = Rs. 3600 plus
Life Insurance benefit of a sum of Rs. 670, totalling Rs. 21070 in all as benefits.
As against this, the amount that would be reduced from my Provident Fund would be,
Rs. 25 x 15 x 12 = Rs. 4500. Including interest, this amount would be Rs. 6975 approximately. So, Rs. 21070 benefit against a loss of Rs. 6975. Not bad !
Now, if I die after 20 years, these amounts are Rs. 12670 benefit and Rs. 11160 loss.
In case of my death just before 23 years, they are Rs. 5470 benefit against a loss of Rs. 14400.
And if I die only after my retirement, the benefit is a grand sum of Rs. 2690 as against a loss of a mere Rs. 14400 !
I have thus found an answer to the question that I had posed at the outset and I am drafting an application as under :-
To,
HIS SUPREME SELF, The GOD
Address :- HEAVEN
Dear God,
Having come to know through reliable sources that you decide as to when a person should die, this is to request you to take me off before the expiry of 20 years from now. Otherwise, you see, my poor wife would get less money from the Family Pension Scheme 1971, than what she would have got from my Provident Fund. Of course if you can make it earlier, it would be better. But not earlier than 7 years from now, please. Because than she gets nothing.
You may be receiving applications and even recommendations for a longer life. You may even be receiving lesser but full of entreaty from terminally sick people. However an application for ensuring life upto 7 years from now and thereafter terminating it between 7 and 20 years might be a rarity. The bureaucrats under you might not have drafted rules for such an eventuality and your hands may be tied.
In that case, please dear God, kindly consult your book keeper Shri Chitragupta ( to whom a copy of this application is being endorsed ) and let me know the date when I am scheduled to come to your lotus feet. Please do not, I repeat, do not ask me to consult astrologers. They are not reliable in this matter, at least. They, had, you see, consistently failed in their predictions about my date of promotion.
O ! Divine ! I know that you are very busy these days with the large number of people that our neighbours across the borders have kindly despatched for the salvation of their souls to you recently. But I have to say YES or NO to the Family Pension Scheme within the next 15 days. So kindly treat this as urgent.
Yours Faithfully,
Ramesh Narendrarai Desai
P.S. :- And please dear God, see that my wife lives for another 25 years. Otherwise, you see, the whole exercise would be a wate.
P. P. S. :- I know that people of India have to pay Chai-Pani or Dasturi or Speed Money to you for any favours sought from you. I shall deposit that at any of your branches located in the nearest Temple / Mosque / Church / Gurudwara / Jinalaya /Agiary in the hands of your priestly agent.
FOOTNOTE :-
I do not know who is better at leading you on a garden path ? The Bureaucrat or the Politician ? Both talk of welfare but appear to make you give a farewell to your hard earned money. These so called public servants seem to be under the impression that all the money that the public earns actually belongs to them. It is their goodness that they allow the public to spend some of it.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
RULES FOR DEATH
NOTE
This article was written at a time when our LICENCE PERMIT RAJ was at its peak.It reveals the mind set of our buearaucrats (BOOR O CRATS ?). Despite 35 years of passage of time since this was written, there has not been much change. A biradari that treats its own so badly, how can you expect it to treat the public well?
A file once came to me with the following notings:-
It is seen that many people die in service without prior intimation to and approval of the competent authorities. Such a situation throws the administrative machinery out of gear as a new man has to be recruited to replace the dead man. Till such time as the proper procedures are gone through for recruitment which sometimes take two years. In the meantime, the work suffers. Apart from this, on humanitarian grounds, we have to sanction ex-gratia payments to the family of the deceased. This is an avoidable expenditure. If approved,I may put up draft rules for the purpose.
Sd/-
Mrityunjay Roy
Senior Assistant
O.S.
The idea is indeed laudable and I must congratulate Mr. Roy for his initiative in bringing to light, a handicap from which we have often suffered in the past.
You have my wholehearted approval to go ahead with the drafting of the rules.
Sd/-
Amar Deshmukh
Office Superintendent
Sr. Asst.( M.R. )
As desired the draft rules are placed below for scrutiny and approval of the competent authorities.
DRAFT RULES FOR PERMISSION TO DIE IN SERVICE
Short title and extent of application.
1. (i) These rules may be called the rules for permission to die while in service.
Note:- These rules supersede any other rules on the subject that may be in existence.
(ii) These rules shall be applicable to all government and semi-government servants.
DEFINITIONS:-
In these rules, unless there is anything repugnant to the subject or context,
(a) " COMPETENT AUTHORITY " shall mean the headof the department in which the employee is working.
RULES
1) No government servant shall die without obtaining prior approval of the competent authority.
2) When an employee wants to die, he must apply through proper channel well in advance to the competent authority.
3) The criteria for the granting of the said permission shall be as follows :-
a) The employee must have obtained clearance from all the concerned departments. A " No Objection " must be obtained from all the departments. This certificate must be attached to the application.
b) Proper reasons must be given in the space provided for in the proforma of application at annexure " A ". Simply writing that the employee is tired of life shall not be accepted.
c) The employee must repay all outstanding amounts against loans such as Car/Scooter/Cycle advance, loan against Provident Fund, loan for construction of a house etc. before applying for permission to die. " No claim " certificate specifically from the Accounts department in addition to the " No Objection " certificate mentioned in a) above must be attached with the application.
d) Permission to die will be granted by the departmental head after taking into account age, seniority in service, the likely dislocation to be caused by the death of the applicant etc...etc.
e) In case the employee's death application does not fit into the criteria listed above, death will have to be postponed till a suitable amendment to the rules is made.
Sd/-
Mrityunjay Roy
Sr. Asst.
O.S.
Thanks. I donot see the necessity of the note under 1i)since permission to die has never been necessary before. This is a new idea. Hence the note in question may be deleted.
As for applicability, what about members of the armed forces ? Should they apply for and await permission before going to the battlefront ? What about accidental death ? i think you should add some exceptions.
Annexure ' A ' has not been attached.
Sd/-
Amar Deshmukh
Office Supdt.
Sr. Asst. ( M.R. )
The note under 1i) has been deleted. The following is added under 1i) after the words 'to all government servants'
"except members of the armed forces who will automatically be deemed to have been granted permission to die.
Employees dying as a result of unforeseen accidents and murders shall also be exempted"
I trust that this is now in order. annexure ' A " has since been attached.
Sd/-
Mrityunjay Roy
Sr. Asst.
O.S.
Submitted for kind approval.
Sd/-
Amar Deshmukh
Office Superintendent
Under Secretary
What is all this nonsense ? I do not understand why such a permission is necessary and why are we wasting time like this ?
Let us stop bothering about death and get on with life. There is plenty of work to be done of a lot more importance. Returned. May be filed.
Sd/-
Buddhi Heen Singh
Under Secretary
Resubmitted as desired on phone.
Sd/-
Amar Deshmukh
Office Supdt.
Under Secretary
Submitted as ordered. My earlier noting however stands.
Sd/-
Buddhi Heen Singh
Under Secretary
Deputy Secretary
( What transpired between the Deputy Secretary and the Office Superintendent and the Office Superintendent after the Under Secretary's first noting can be imagined. Such matters are usually off the record. )
I have made a few minor alterations/additions. Joint Secretary may kindly get the approval of the secretary. As for the few people who are still not in government service and who therefore evade the provisions of these rules, a bill for parliament is under preparation.
Sd/-
Amarendra Rai
Deputy Secretary
Secretary may kindly approve the draft rules for issue.
Sd/-
T. Trishanku
Joint Secretary
On going through the above notings, I had a hearty laugh; but then, by and by I too started getting worried. Why do all these people ( but one ) consider death to be such a priviledge that they want it to be included in the list of permits and licences being granted by the government ? Surely they must have a feeling that they have themselves become immortal. Was I also immortal ? I had heard that power gives one a delusion of omnipotence. But immortality ?
Anyway, I dis not care if I had indeed become immortal. My worry is how to cure such people of their silly apprehensions. Send them to a Psychiartrist ? But then would the Psychiatrist himself not need admission to a mental asylum after interactions with these people ?
I took the file home and locked it up in a safe deposit vault. then I took a month's leave. I needed the rest. On return, all the frogs in the well, I mean all the officials figuring in the file except Buddhi Heen Singh were dispersed to different departments. B.H. Singh has now been promoted. He had the sense to keep me apprised of the situation when his superior had foolishly ordered him to process the file.
Some day I hope to sit down and analyse the causes of the feeling of immortality. I shall then be able to explain to these children in their own language as to what makes them feel like this. why such fears are groundless and what are the remedies. till then, all that i can say is that they should leave thinking to those who do not get morbid thoughts. If they fear absence of death, it only means that they have not lived life fully. after all, a man who has not even lived, die ? Is not marriage the first prerequisite for getting a divorce ?
This article was written at a time when our LICENCE PERMIT RAJ was at its peak.It reveals the mind set of our buearaucrats (BOOR O CRATS ?). Despite 35 years of passage of time since this was written, there has not been much change. A biradari that treats its own so badly, how can you expect it to treat the public well?
A file once came to me with the following notings:-
It is seen that many people die in service without prior intimation to and approval of the competent authorities. Such a situation throws the administrative machinery out of gear as a new man has to be recruited to replace the dead man. Till such time as the proper procedures are gone through for recruitment which sometimes take two years. In the meantime, the work suffers. Apart from this, on humanitarian grounds, we have to sanction ex-gratia payments to the family of the deceased. This is an avoidable expenditure. If approved,I may put up draft rules for the purpose.
Sd/-
Mrityunjay Roy
Senior Assistant
O.S.
The idea is indeed laudable and I must congratulate Mr. Roy for his initiative in bringing to light, a handicap from which we have often suffered in the past.
You have my wholehearted approval to go ahead with the drafting of the rules.
Sd/-
Amar Deshmukh
Office Superintendent
Sr. Asst.( M.R. )
As desired the draft rules are placed below for scrutiny and approval of the competent authorities.
DRAFT RULES FOR PERMISSION TO DIE IN SERVICE
Short title and extent of application.
1. (i) These rules may be called the rules for permission to die while in service.
Note:- These rules supersede any other rules on the subject that may be in existence.
(ii) These rules shall be applicable to all government and semi-government servants.
DEFINITIONS:-
In these rules, unless there is anything repugnant to the subject or context,
(a) " COMPETENT AUTHORITY " shall mean the headof the department in which the employee is working.
RULES
1) No government servant shall die without obtaining prior approval of the competent authority.
2) When an employee wants to die, he must apply through proper channel well in advance to the competent authority.
3) The criteria for the granting of the said permission shall be as follows :-
a) The employee must have obtained clearance from all the concerned departments. A " No Objection " must be obtained from all the departments. This certificate must be attached to the application.
b) Proper reasons must be given in the space provided for in the proforma of application at annexure " A ". Simply writing that the employee is tired of life shall not be accepted.
c) The employee must repay all outstanding amounts against loans such as Car/Scooter/Cycle advance, loan against Provident Fund, loan for construction of a house etc. before applying for permission to die. " No claim " certificate specifically from the Accounts department in addition to the " No Objection " certificate mentioned in a) above must be attached with the application.
d) Permission to die will be granted by the departmental head after taking into account age, seniority in service, the likely dislocation to be caused by the death of the applicant etc...etc.
e) In case the employee's death application does not fit into the criteria listed above, death will have to be postponed till a suitable amendment to the rules is made.
Sd/-
Mrityunjay Roy
Sr. Asst.
O.S.
Thanks. I donot see the necessity of the note under 1i)since permission to die has never been necessary before. This is a new idea. Hence the note in question may be deleted.
As for applicability, what about members of the armed forces ? Should they apply for and await permission before going to the battlefront ? What about accidental death ? i think you should add some exceptions.
Annexure ' A ' has not been attached.
Sd/-
Amar Deshmukh
Office Supdt.
Sr. Asst. ( M.R. )
The note under 1i) has been deleted. The following is added under 1i) after the words 'to all government servants'
"except members of the armed forces who will automatically be deemed to have been granted permission to die.
Employees dying as a result of unforeseen accidents and murders shall also be exempted"
I trust that this is now in order. annexure ' A " has since been attached.
Sd/-
Mrityunjay Roy
Sr. Asst.
O.S.
Submitted for kind approval.
Sd/-
Amar Deshmukh
Office Superintendent
Under Secretary
What is all this nonsense ? I do not understand why such a permission is necessary and why are we wasting time like this ?
Let us stop bothering about death and get on with life. There is plenty of work to be done of a lot more importance. Returned. May be filed.
Sd/-
Buddhi Heen Singh
Under Secretary
Resubmitted as desired on phone.
Sd/-
Amar Deshmukh
Office Supdt.
Under Secretary
Submitted as ordered. My earlier noting however stands.
Sd/-
Buddhi Heen Singh
Under Secretary
Deputy Secretary
( What transpired between the Deputy Secretary and the Office Superintendent and the Office Superintendent after the Under Secretary's first noting can be imagined. Such matters are usually off the record. )
I have made a few minor alterations/additions. Joint Secretary may kindly get the approval of the secretary. As for the few people who are still not in government service and who therefore evade the provisions of these rules, a bill for parliament is under preparation.
Sd/-
Amarendra Rai
Deputy Secretary
Secretary may kindly approve the draft rules for issue.
Sd/-
T. Trishanku
Joint Secretary
On going through the above notings, I had a hearty laugh; but then, by and by I too started getting worried. Why do all these people ( but one ) consider death to be such a priviledge that they want it to be included in the list of permits and licences being granted by the government ? Surely they must have a feeling that they have themselves become immortal. Was I also immortal ? I had heard that power gives one a delusion of omnipotence. But immortality ?
Anyway, I dis not care if I had indeed become immortal. My worry is how to cure such people of their silly apprehensions. Send them to a Psychiartrist ? But then would the Psychiatrist himself not need admission to a mental asylum after interactions with these people ?
I took the file home and locked it up in a safe deposit vault. then I took a month's leave. I needed the rest. On return, all the frogs in the well, I mean all the officials figuring in the file except Buddhi Heen Singh were dispersed to different departments. B.H. Singh has now been promoted. He had the sense to keep me apprised of the situation when his superior had foolishly ordered him to process the file.
Some day I hope to sit down and analyse the causes of the feeling of immortality. I shall then be able to explain to these children in their own language as to what makes them feel like this. why such fears are groundless and what are the remedies. till then, all that i can say is that they should leave thinking to those who do not get morbid thoughts. If they fear absence of death, it only means that they have not lived life fully. after all, a man who has not even lived, die ? Is not marriage the first prerequisite for getting a divorce ?
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
IS THE INDIAN SOCIETY ANTI - PRODUCTIVITY ?
NOTE :- This article was originally written about 4-5 years before the so called Liberalisation, Privatisation and Globalisation in 1991. India is the only country here public servants proudly declared that they had become liberal to their masters - the people and that too in an ingratiating manner ! Two decades after the event - now demurely called Economic reforms - and GDP growth rate increasing from around 3 % to over 8% it is time whether we continue to be anti-productivity in another guise. The footnote to this article will do that.
Is the Indian Society Anti - Productivity ?
Persons engaged in economic pursuits can be divided into two broad categories viz, :
1) Those engaged in production of goods and
2) Those engaged in providing services.
The second category can be further sub-divided into :
2a) Those engaged in services contributing to production and
2b) Those engaged in providing regulatory services such as i ) the government, be it in the bureaucracy or in the political wing or ii ) religious bodies which tend to regulate the social norms by which people ought to live.
We have one category in addition to the above two which is not pursuing any economic activity except for consumption. They are the aged, the children and the beggars. The aged are being compensated for their past contribution. The children's consumption is our investment in expectation of their contribution to production at a later date. The beggars, especially the able-bodied ones are socially criminals. Even among beggars, there are the honest ones and the dishonest ones who collect donations for various stated purposes but use the money for their personal use. In India this category has a larger population than in other countries.
Any society which is pro-productivity and therefore flourishing, gives far better rewards to persons engaged in category 1) as compared to to those in category 2). Even among category 2) those in category 2a) have better rewards than those in category 2b).
The Indian society has traditionally rewarded the producers badly. In the old days when agriculture was the main productive venture, rewards to the agriculturists were much lower whether in economic terms or in terms of social status than to persons of the regulatory classes such as landlords, religious priests, government servants and so on.
The copndition after independence and industrialization has not changed. We tend to give too much importance to the regulatory personnel whose contribution to productivity is at best marginal if not on the negative side. Look at our political and social set up. The party, the prganization or the individual who can put the wheels of production to a more complete stop by means of strikes and bandhs is considered to have a bigger sway on the masses. Terrorism is only an accentuation of this coercive method by a section of the people to get their demands accepted by the people as a whole. The days of constructive work as a means of reaching out to the masses and influencing them by rendering actual help, empowering them to become self reliant, are over. In the same way, the bureaucrat who can put more spokes in the wheels of production is more fawned upon if not also more empowered. People who can incite violence and let loose terror, are wooed by the ruling establishment. Like the givernment, religion too has a regulatory role in a society. Religious leaders are also given too much importance as compared to their contribution to productivity. Even the media give too much coverage of non - productive activities of politics and religion. Both are luxuries which only a productive society can afford. We, Indians, tend to behave like a post - wealth generation society while still being in a pre - wealth generation phase. We forget that everything has a time and place.
In fact, in our country, rewards to persons in category 2b) are the highest, followed by persons in category 2a) and the least beneficiaries are persons in category 1). - exactly opposite to the desirable situation. It has resulted in the dignity of labour being forgotten and making blue collar infra dig. This is the main reason for our continued backwardness.
In view of the fact that a reduction in prices or at least stability in prices despite increasing demand is mainly dependent on an improvement in productivity, it is imperative that Indian society as a whole, nhould sit up and change its attitude and perspective. It is useless to expect only one section of the society viz. the regulatory personnel ( i.e. the bureaucratic and the political classes ) to do anything in this regard since any change for the better hurts their own self interests in terms of reduction of power and control not to speak of the rent collection.
A case in point is the procrastination, prevarication and finally outright rejection by these classes to concede a higher or even an equal dearness allowance to productive personnel of the public sector as compared to what is given to the government's own regulatory personnel. The government can merrily go on taking anti - productivity steps. Its personnel especially those in the lower rungs with whom the common man deals the most, are compensated fully for any consequent price rise. They care, therefore, the least for any price rise that takes place. Even its personnel in the higher rungs are compensated to the extent of 70 % of any price rise that takes place, the balance 30 % being taken care of by the power that they wield over the destiny of any productive personnel who dare to improve productivity and profitability. The regulatory personnel have thus no stake in improving productivity. The political class depends on donations and other similar sources of income which increase with price rises. The brunt of the burden of the price rises has therefore to be borne by the productive personnel while others who outnumber them in terms of numbers, income or influence can merrily take anti - productivity steps. Even the service personnel like doctors, lawyers, the trading classes can hike up their prices at their own will.
It may be argued that I have painted a picture that is gloomier than reality. However the fact remains that given the attitudes and perspective of the Indian society and our experience of the last 40 years and the results emanating therefrom, there appear to be only black clouds looming on the horizon on the productivity front.
Whenever any industry in the private sector is able to increase its profitability by an improvement in productivity, it is immediately more heavily taxed in the name of mopping up surpluses for " public good " . A case in point is the capital gains tax. Industries therefore find it easier to improve their profitability by oiling the appropriate regulatory wheels which can, by suitable variation in taxation and osuch other measures, do the trick. The world bank have also commented on these lines in a recent report published in the newspapers.
Mahatma Gandhi's idea of Swaraj was for a minimum of dependence on the government whether it was an alien one or an indigenous one. Since indepedence, we have gone in the opposite direction. We have become such slaves that perhaps very few activities such as death are not in government's control. Is it therefore any wonder that the common man expects the government - the so called Sarkar Mai-Baap to do everything for him without any contribution on his part. The addiction of the government is so strong that even while cursing it, he is unable to kick it off. In Transactional Analysis terms, the government has become the controlling parent and the common man , an adapted child. Surely not the freedom we fought for !
We can even say that we have by now imprisoned the Swaraj along with any possible improvement in productivity. The two go hand in hand. Creativity flourishes only in in an atmosphere free of throttling controls that regulate every activity. We have firmly locked up Swaraj and Creativity. Opinion leaders in all walks of lifemay like to ponder over the issues raised here and create the necessary climate for producing a "Shatalin Plan" of our own for regaining Swaraj. Or shall we wait to be fully imprisoned a la Eastern Europe or a la Pakistan before we break free ?
Improvement of productivity in all spheres of life, busting of the " Protection Racket " for our Private Sector are the crying need of the hour. the protected atmosphere in which the private sector operates has become an addiction. Unless we take all steps to improve productivity, we as a society, are heading for a runaway inflation of the type faced by the Germans in the 1930s and by the Chinese in the 1940s and what is staring the Eastern Europe at present. A change in the attitudes and perspective of the Indian elite as well as the masses is urgently called for.
FOOTNOTE:-
Within 4-5 years of writing the above article, the economic reforms came. As is normal with us Indians, they were forced on us by force of circumstances. Remember the pledging of our gold when only 15 days' worth of foreign exchange was left with us and cosequent launching of economic reforms? What are the pluses and the minuses of the economic reforms twenty years down the line ?
The pluses according to me are:-
1. Foreign exchange position is comfortable, perhaps far too comfortable. We are in fact contributing to the financial bail out of some European countries - a reversal of the situation pre reforms.
2.Our exports have increased manifold.
3. Our GDP growth rate has gone up from the " Hindu growth rate " of around 3 % to over 8 %.
4. Salaries have gone up, whether in the private or the public sector.
5.Disposable income has gone up, resulting in higher savings rate.
6. Waiting period for cars, scooters, telephones and other such largesse wheedled out of government functionaries at great cost of time, money and effort has been reduced to the time required for a telephone call. The spread of vehicles and telephones has perceptibly gone upto the lower strata of the society in this 'capitalist' era than in the earlier 'socialist' era. It is not uncmmon in cities now for a domestic servant to ring up on his mobile if he is going to be late for work as he is attending to a puncture on his moped wheel.
7. The rationing mentality caused by scarcity of goods of all descriptions has now been turned into a problem of which brand to choose due to a glut in the market. The quantity of old goods and variety of newer goods has gone up. The craze for 'phoren' goods has gone down.
The minuses according to me are :-
1.Corruption has gone up in intensity even as areas with scope for corruption have gone down judging by the scams coming out serially.
2. The salaries of regulatory personnel have gone up. Even the MPs have voted their own pay hike.
3. The expected reduction in government employees' strength has not taken place.
4.Inflation has reared its head as in the field of agriculture, no improvement has taken place.
5. The control and power mind set has not changed. This is a big hurdle in the path of eradication of corruption.
6. An attitude of service on the part of the public servants is not yet visible. They still behave as the masters of their " Ryots ".
7. The government's control on the life of the common man has not gone down. Least government is the best government. We must have more and more of self-regulation than a rigid but subject to correction by corruption governmental regulation. We must reduce the size and scope of government.
Is the Indian Society Anti - Productivity ?
Persons engaged in economic pursuits can be divided into two broad categories viz, :
1) Those engaged in production of goods and
2) Those engaged in providing services.
The second category can be further sub-divided into :
2a) Those engaged in services contributing to production and
2b) Those engaged in providing regulatory services such as i ) the government, be it in the bureaucracy or in the political wing or ii ) religious bodies which tend to regulate the social norms by which people ought to live.
We have one category in addition to the above two which is not pursuing any economic activity except for consumption. They are the aged, the children and the beggars. The aged are being compensated for their past contribution. The children's consumption is our investment in expectation of their contribution to production at a later date. The beggars, especially the able-bodied ones are socially criminals. Even among beggars, there are the honest ones and the dishonest ones who collect donations for various stated purposes but use the money for their personal use. In India this category has a larger population than in other countries.
Any society which is pro-productivity and therefore flourishing, gives far better rewards to persons engaged in category 1) as compared to to those in category 2). Even among category 2) those in category 2a) have better rewards than those in category 2b).
The Indian society has traditionally rewarded the producers badly. In the old days when agriculture was the main productive venture, rewards to the agriculturists were much lower whether in economic terms or in terms of social status than to persons of the regulatory classes such as landlords, religious priests, government servants and so on.
The copndition after independence and industrialization has not changed. We tend to give too much importance to the regulatory personnel whose contribution to productivity is at best marginal if not on the negative side. Look at our political and social set up. The party, the prganization or the individual who can put the wheels of production to a more complete stop by means of strikes and bandhs is considered to have a bigger sway on the masses. Terrorism is only an accentuation of this coercive method by a section of the people to get their demands accepted by the people as a whole. The days of constructive work as a means of reaching out to the masses and influencing them by rendering actual help, empowering them to become self reliant, are over. In the same way, the bureaucrat who can put more spokes in the wheels of production is more fawned upon if not also more empowered. People who can incite violence and let loose terror, are wooed by the ruling establishment. Like the givernment, religion too has a regulatory role in a society. Religious leaders are also given too much importance as compared to their contribution to productivity. Even the media give too much coverage of non - productive activities of politics and religion. Both are luxuries which only a productive society can afford. We, Indians, tend to behave like a post - wealth generation society while still being in a pre - wealth generation phase. We forget that everything has a time and place.
In fact, in our country, rewards to persons in category 2b) are the highest, followed by persons in category 2a) and the least beneficiaries are persons in category 1). - exactly opposite to the desirable situation. It has resulted in the dignity of labour being forgotten and making blue collar infra dig. This is the main reason for our continued backwardness.
In view of the fact that a reduction in prices or at least stability in prices despite increasing demand is mainly dependent on an improvement in productivity, it is imperative that Indian society as a whole, nhould sit up and change its attitude and perspective. It is useless to expect only one section of the society viz. the regulatory personnel ( i.e. the bureaucratic and the political classes ) to do anything in this regard since any change for the better hurts their own self interests in terms of reduction of power and control not to speak of the rent collection.
A case in point is the procrastination, prevarication and finally outright rejection by these classes to concede a higher or even an equal dearness allowance to productive personnel of the public sector as compared to what is given to the government's own regulatory personnel. The government can merrily go on taking anti - productivity steps. Its personnel especially those in the lower rungs with whom the common man deals the most, are compensated fully for any consequent price rise. They care, therefore, the least for any price rise that takes place. Even its personnel in the higher rungs are compensated to the extent of 70 % of any price rise that takes place, the balance 30 % being taken care of by the power that they wield over the destiny of any productive personnel who dare to improve productivity and profitability. The regulatory personnel have thus no stake in improving productivity. The political class depends on donations and other similar sources of income which increase with price rises. The brunt of the burden of the price rises has therefore to be borne by the productive personnel while others who outnumber them in terms of numbers, income or influence can merrily take anti - productivity steps. Even the service personnel like doctors, lawyers, the trading classes can hike up their prices at their own will.
It may be argued that I have painted a picture that is gloomier than reality. However the fact remains that given the attitudes and perspective of the Indian society and our experience of the last 40 years and the results emanating therefrom, there appear to be only black clouds looming on the horizon on the productivity front.
Whenever any industry in the private sector is able to increase its profitability by an improvement in productivity, it is immediately more heavily taxed in the name of mopping up surpluses for " public good " . A case in point is the capital gains tax. Industries therefore find it easier to improve their profitability by oiling the appropriate regulatory wheels which can, by suitable variation in taxation and osuch other measures, do the trick. The world bank have also commented on these lines in a recent report published in the newspapers.
Mahatma Gandhi's idea of Swaraj was for a minimum of dependence on the government whether it was an alien one or an indigenous one. Since indepedence, we have gone in the opposite direction. We have become such slaves that perhaps very few activities such as death are not in government's control. Is it therefore any wonder that the common man expects the government - the so called Sarkar Mai-Baap to do everything for him without any contribution on his part. The addiction of the government is so strong that even while cursing it, he is unable to kick it off. In Transactional Analysis terms, the government has become the controlling parent and the common man , an adapted child. Surely not the freedom we fought for !
We can even say that we have by now imprisoned the Swaraj along with any possible improvement in productivity. The two go hand in hand. Creativity flourishes only in in an atmosphere free of throttling controls that regulate every activity. We have firmly locked up Swaraj and Creativity. Opinion leaders in all walks of lifemay like to ponder over the issues raised here and create the necessary climate for producing a "Shatalin Plan" of our own for regaining Swaraj. Or shall we wait to be fully imprisoned a la Eastern Europe or a la Pakistan before we break free ?
Improvement of productivity in all spheres of life, busting of the " Protection Racket " for our Private Sector are the crying need of the hour. the protected atmosphere in which the private sector operates has become an addiction. Unless we take all steps to improve productivity, we as a society, are heading for a runaway inflation of the type faced by the Germans in the 1930s and by the Chinese in the 1940s and what is staring the Eastern Europe at present. A change in the attitudes and perspective of the Indian elite as well as the masses is urgently called for.
FOOTNOTE:-
Within 4-5 years of writing the above article, the economic reforms came. As is normal with us Indians, they were forced on us by force of circumstances. Remember the pledging of our gold when only 15 days' worth of foreign exchange was left with us and cosequent launching of economic reforms? What are the pluses and the minuses of the economic reforms twenty years down the line ?
The pluses according to me are:-
1. Foreign exchange position is comfortable, perhaps far too comfortable. We are in fact contributing to the financial bail out of some European countries - a reversal of the situation pre reforms.
2.Our exports have increased manifold.
3. Our GDP growth rate has gone up from the " Hindu growth rate " of around 3 % to over 8 %.
4. Salaries have gone up, whether in the private or the public sector.
5.Disposable income has gone up, resulting in higher savings rate.
6. Waiting period for cars, scooters, telephones and other such largesse wheedled out of government functionaries at great cost of time, money and effort has been reduced to the time required for a telephone call. The spread of vehicles and telephones has perceptibly gone upto the lower strata of the society in this 'capitalist' era than in the earlier 'socialist' era. It is not uncmmon in cities now for a domestic servant to ring up on his mobile if he is going to be late for work as he is attending to a puncture on his moped wheel.
7. The rationing mentality caused by scarcity of goods of all descriptions has now been turned into a problem of which brand to choose due to a glut in the market. The quantity of old goods and variety of newer goods has gone up. The craze for 'phoren' goods has gone down.
The minuses according to me are :-
1.Corruption has gone up in intensity even as areas with scope for corruption have gone down judging by the scams coming out serially.
2. The salaries of regulatory personnel have gone up. Even the MPs have voted their own pay hike.
3. The expected reduction in government employees' strength has not taken place.
4.Inflation has reared its head as in the field of agriculture, no improvement has taken place.
5. The control and power mind set has not changed. This is a big hurdle in the path of eradication of corruption.
6. An attitude of service on the part of the public servants is not yet visible. They still behave as the masters of their " Ryots ".
7. The government's control on the life of the common man has not gone down. Least government is the best government. We must have more and more of self-regulation than a rigid but subject to correction by corruption governmental regulation. We must reduce the size and scope of government.
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