RULES FOR DEATH

NOTE
This article was written at a time when our LICENCE PERMIT RAJ was at its peak.It reveals the mind set of our buearaucrats (BOOR O CRATS ?). Despite 35 years of passage of time since this was written, there has not been much change. A biradari that treats its own so badly, how can you expect it to treat the public well?


A file once came to me with the following notings:-
It is seen that many people die in service without prior intimation to and approval of the competent authorities. Such a situation throws the administrative machinery out of gear as a new man has to be recruited to replace the dead man. Till such time as the proper procedures are gone through for recruitment which sometimes take two years. In the meantime, the work suffers. Apart from this, on humanitarian grounds, we have to sanction ex-gratia payments to the family of the deceased. This is an avoidable expenditure. If approved,I may put up draft rules for the purpose.
Sd/-
Mrityunjay Roy
Senior Assistant

O.S.

The idea is indeed laudable and I must congratulate Mr. Roy for his initiative in bringing to light, a handicap from which we have often suffered in the past.

You have my wholehearted approval to go ahead with the drafting of the rules.
Sd/-
Amar Deshmukh
Office Superintendent
Sr. Asst.( M.R. )

As desired the draft rules are placed below for scrutiny and approval of the competent authorities.

DRAFT RULES FOR PERMISSION TO DIE IN SERVICE

Short title and extent of application.

1. (i) These rules may be called the rules for permission to die while in service.

Note:- These rules supersede any other rules on the subject that may be in existence.

(ii) These rules shall be applicable to all government and semi-government servants.

DEFINITIONS:-

In these rules, unless there is anything repugnant to the subject or context,

(a) " COMPETENT AUTHORITY " shall mean the headof the department in which the employee is working.

RULES

1) No government servant shall die without obtaining prior approval of the competent authority.

2) When an employee wants to die, he must apply through proper channel well in advance to the competent authority.

3) The criteria for the granting of the said permission shall be as follows :-

a) The employee must have obtained clearance from all the concerned departments. A " No Objection " must be obtained from all the departments. This certificate must be attached to the application.

b) Proper reasons must be given in the space provided for in the proforma of application at annexure " A ". Simply writing that the employee is tired of life shall not be accepted.

c) The employee must repay all outstanding amounts against loans such as Car/Scooter/Cycle advance, loan against Provident Fund, loan for construction of a house etc. before applying for permission to die. " No claim " certificate specifically from the Accounts department in addition to the " No Objection " certificate mentioned in a) above must be attached with the application.

d) Permission to die will be granted by the departmental head after taking into account age, seniority in service, the likely dislocation to be caused by the death of the applicant etc...etc.

e) In case the employee's death application does not fit into the criteria listed above, death will have to be postponed till a suitable amendment to the rules is made.


Sd/-
Mrityunjay Roy
Sr. Asst.
O.S.

Thanks. I donot see the necessity of the note under 1i)since permission to die has never been necessary before. This is a new idea. Hence the note in question may be deleted.
As for applicability, what about members of the armed forces ? Should they apply for and await permission before going to the battlefront ? What about accidental death ? i think you should add some exceptions.
Annexure ' A ' has not been attached.

Sd/-
Amar Deshmukh
Office Supdt.
Sr. Asst. ( M.R. )

The note under 1i) has been deleted. The following is added under 1i) after the words 'to all government servants'

"except members of the armed forces who will automatically be deemed to have been granted permission to die.

Employees dying as a result of unforeseen accidents and murders shall also be exempted"

I trust that this is now in order. annexure ' A " has since been attached.

Sd/-
Mrityunjay Roy
Sr. Asst.
O.S.

Submitted for kind approval.

Sd/-
Amar Deshmukh
Office Superintendent
Under Secretary

What is all this nonsense ? I do not understand why such a permission is necessary and why are we wasting time like this ?

Let us stop bothering about death and get on with life. There is plenty of work to be done of a lot more importance. Returned. May be filed.

Sd/-
Buddhi Heen Singh
Under Secretary

Resubmitted as desired on phone.

Sd/-
Amar Deshmukh
Office Supdt.
Under Secretary

Submitted as ordered. My earlier noting however stands.

Sd/-
Buddhi Heen Singh
Under Secretary
Deputy Secretary

( What transpired between the Deputy Secretary and the Office Superintendent and the Office Superintendent after the Under Secretary's first noting can be imagined. Such matters are usually off the record. )

I have made a few minor alterations/additions. Joint Secretary may kindly get the approval of the secretary. As for the few people who are still not in government service and who therefore evade the provisions of these rules, a bill for parliament is under preparation.

Sd/-
Amarendra Rai
Deputy Secretary

Secretary may kindly approve the draft rules for issue.

Sd/-
T. Trishanku
Joint Secretary

On going through the above notings, I had a hearty laugh; but then, by and by I too started getting worried. Why do all these people ( but one ) consider death to be such a priviledge that they want it to be included in the list of permits and licences being granted by the government ? Surely they must have a feeling that they have themselves become immortal. Was I also immortal ? I had heard that power gives one a delusion of omnipotence. But immortality ?

Anyway, I dis not care if I had indeed become immortal. My worry is how to cure such people of their silly apprehensions. Send them to a Psychiartrist ? But then would the Psychiatrist himself not need admission to a mental asylum after interactions with these people ?

I took the file home and locked it up in a safe deposit vault. then I took a month's leave. I needed the rest. On return, all the frogs in the well, I mean all the officials figuring in the file except Buddhi Heen Singh were dispersed to different departments. B.H. Singh has now been promoted. He had the sense to keep me apprised of the situation when his superior had foolishly ordered him to process the file.

Some day I hope to sit down and analyse the causes of the feeling of immortality. I shall then be able to explain to these children in their own language as to what makes them feel like this. why such fears are groundless and what are the remedies. till then, all that i can say is that they should leave thinking to those who do not get morbid thoughts. If they fear absence of death, it only means that they have not lived life fully. after all, a man who has not even lived, die ? Is not marriage the first prerequisite for getting a divorce ?